I am too short. I had always known this. In school my class-mates soon out-grew me. My clothes lasted longer than my friends and it took me sometime to reconcile myself with my short-height.
However, reconcile I did. And have been at peace with myself for quite sometime. Yet over the past few years it has come back to haunt me.
There is this chart that gives you body-mass-index (BMI). And for the past few years when ever I have looked at it, it shouted back at me “You are too bloody short”.
I looked at it again on Friday last and I realised that I have become shorter still. Now how did that happen? Earlier I was short by a few inches, but now I am short by almost a foot. The chart declares that for a man my weight I should be some 6ft+ tall. Till a couple of years back it told me that I should be 5’10’’ and now it has raised the bar.
I am 5ft 6 inches and have been so for sometime, then how did I become shorter? And then it dawned on me, I do not have a height problem, I have a weight problem.
However, reconcile I did. And have been at peace with myself for quite sometime. Yet over the past few years it has come back to haunt me.
There is this chart that gives you body-mass-index (BMI). And for the past few years when ever I have looked at it, it shouted back at me “You are too bloody short”.
I looked at it again on Friday last and I realised that I have become shorter still. Now how did that happen? Earlier I was short by a few inches, but now I am short by almost a foot. The chart declares that for a man my weight I should be some 6ft+ tall. Till a couple of years back it told me that I should be 5’10’’ and now it has raised the bar.
I am 5ft 6 inches and have been so for sometime, then how did I become shorter? And then it dawned on me, I do not have a height problem, I have a weight problem.
Its pretty weird when you think about it. I have always been skinny. In school and in college I have spent many a happy moment shouting back fatso to those who would call me shorty (and even to those who would not). So fat was never in my radar, and suddenly I now realise, with 86 kgs stuffed within 5ft 6inches, I have a weight problem and not a height one.
Well, you know how it is, big discoveries take time. Just think how long stupid man-kind sorry, person-kind took to discover gravity, Earth’s rotation or sliced bread… (oh the last was an invention really, not a discovery). So, I rationalised, this late realisation isn't all bad.
Having arrived at the startling conclusion of being overweight I did what any man worth his salt and pepper would do. I took a big bag of chips and sat down to chalk out a plan, a plan to solve my problem.
I shall join a gym. Well that was easy, that did not take long. So yesterday afternoon was my first day at a gym. I have made a start.
Needless to say my first day in the gym was eventful.
As it inevitably happens in such cases, when I walked into the gym, there were a couple of Salman Khans, and a Hrithik sweating it away. If only there was another mishapen seasoned tuber like me!....none. Most depressing, I felt as a plain idly would feel next to a to a caviar, totally out of its league.
Well, you know how it is, big discoveries take time. Just think how long stupid man-kind sorry, person-kind took to discover gravity, Earth’s rotation or sliced bread… (oh the last was an invention really, not a discovery). So, I rationalised, this late realisation isn't all bad.
Having arrived at the startling conclusion of being overweight I did what any man worth his salt and pepper would do. I took a big bag of chips and sat down to chalk out a plan, a plan to solve my problem.
I shall join a gym. Well that was easy, that did not take long. So yesterday afternoon was my first day at a gym. I have made a start.
Needless to say my first day in the gym was eventful.
As it inevitably happens in such cases, when I walked into the gym, there were a couple of Salman Khans, and a Hrithik sweating it away. If only there was another mishapen seasoned tuber like me!....none. Most depressing, I felt as a plain idly would feel next to a to a caviar, totally out of its league.
Trying to find something that will not make me look like a complete fool (high-hopes) I sought out the treadmill.
Sure enough I had my Mr Bean moment. You know, the treadmill is really a very unkind gadget for beginners. It either moves too slowly (so my steps would actually take me walk into the handle bar) or too fast (so I am holding on to the handle-bar even as I see my legs get dragged by the conveyor belt).
Salman and Hrithik, I could feel their stares bruning into my back and their silent squeals of laughter were deafening.
Sure enough I had my Mr Bean moment. You know, the treadmill is really a very unkind gadget for beginners. It either moves too slowly (so my steps would actually take me walk into the handle bar) or too fast (so I am holding on to the handle-bar even as I see my legs get dragged by the conveyor belt).
Salman and Hrithik, I could feel their stares bruning into my back and their silent squeals of laughter were deafening.
Well, I must push off now, gym time - my 3rd day, more coming.
Comrade you are a "visionary" - at least you envisioned yourself going to the gym :))
ReplyDeleteBut human obesity is probably the new norm, given that our food habits have embraced globalization too. Maybe it's time to shift our core focus on something more unmanageable like, say, global obesity...oops warming. As for being too short I keep blaming the doc upstairs, and all HE can do is dismiss me :/ Yeah it's true that being less fat is directly proportional to being more healthy, though like all other canons of life it's also subject to that law of diminishing returns...ahem...do you mind passing on that bag of chips, brother??
-Louise
The above comment from Louise has thrown open a whole new angle to global warming.....It is well accepted that obesity/overweight is a much bigger problem today than it was a few years back.
ReplyDeleteNow we know one of the major outcomes of being overweight is poor digestion (it may be an outcome or a reason as well) and we know what indigestion does....hot air......so you see where this is going....
Now I do not know whether any analysis has been done of such bio emissions (as in wind passed by the overweight).... eg its content of carbon gases and/or spm (suspended particular matter).
I am too lazy to google it up and am not sure how much these emissions contribute to global pollution. But global warming? It does not take research (even of the google variety) to say that all this hot air from so many overweight people is certainly contributing to global warming.
What an alarming situation. Along the lines of Kyoto Protocol, it is possible that in the near future, overweight people will need to buy hot air credits (much like carbon credits) from the thin and undernourished...which, come to think about it, would be a right step in the direction of wealth. So beig overweight will be even more expensive.
Man...i must re-visit the gym....if I am going to pay for being overweight...might as well pay to a gym than a smug, slim, greyhound sleek slime ball...