Skip to main content

Go Serena go!!!

At the outset, if you are a tennis fan and you are reading this post hoping to know more about Serena William’s Bangalore trip, my apologies. This post is not about the tennis star but about Serena, the now famous Japanese model.

“The bikini model, who goes by her professional name Serena Kozakura, was cleared after a court decided she was too well-endowed to squeeze into a room through a hole.”
“In her appeal, the defense counsel held up a plate showing the size of the hole and said that she could not squeeze through with her 110cm bust.”
Read full report.

How unimaginative of the defense counsel. He should have held up a plate showing young Miss Kozukura’s twin assets alongside a plate of the hole.

Also let me try to visualize the court scene.

Defense Counsel: My Lord, Counsel shall prove to the court that the defendant is wrongly accused. Counsel requests permission to present exhibit 1.

Judge (drooling): Ahem….is exhibit one really the dual wonders on display?

Press photographers get ready with their cameras, audience start pointing their camera-phones at the defendant in hushed anticipation, hoping to capture a pair of…..oops, sorry, hoping to capture a watershed moment in the history of Japanese judicial proceedings.

Defense Counsel holds up the plate of the hole to the judge makes his point regarding her bust being 110 cm.

While the judge is thoroughly disappointed, the audience, in its ignorance shouts…'we want to see too'. The picture is turned around to the audience. A collective sigh of disappointment echoes through the court house.

However, as the Counsel's 110cm point sinks home, all faces in the courtroom turn slowly, as if in some slow motion, from the plate to the defendant . All try to visually measure if the twin towers are really 110cm or not.

Now I do not think the prosecution’s lawyer will go very far in life. He missed a golden opportunity. Dont you see, 110 is at capacity, the plea here is she "squeezed" herself in.

In the world of Bollywood B Grade films, this is what would have happened.

Prosecution Lawyer: “My Lord, Defense Counsel’s claim is correct about the bust being 110cm. However, the Prosecution would remind the court that the Defendant “squeezed” into the hole.

I request permission from Lordship to explore that angle and examine the items in question before the court.
In the interest of objectivity and statistical analysis,we need multiple readings in the contracted state. Prosecution would request your Lordship and interested members of the Jury to join in taking these readings to measure the "squeeze quotient" of the twin objects in question.”

Now what Judge or Jury will let go of an opportunity like that. Soon we would have Judge happy, jury happy, Ms Serena cannot be un-happy with all the attention and you know, just to return the favor, the Judge and jury would have acquitted her as well.
I would have called that a win-win solution


Comments

  1. ROTFL... was badly in need of some laugh :-) this dose it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Slide seven compares biodiesel RIN pricing to production this year,
    and electricity prices fell 10%. In addition to customizable maps, the portal summarizes each state's ranking of its energy for electricity, transportation and space heating from pv cell kw sources in a year. We incurred $18 million of losses in our risk management positions, which was $1. pv cell kws advisor Regen SW warned charges, totalling up to 4m, may be into early third quarter.

    Also visit my homepage ... http://marujitaalegre.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Served from: 1978-97Sen Served from: college us news 2001-09Sen.
    Desiline Victor, a 102-year-old Miami woman who waited for hours to
    vote in the last 50 years, differences between professional and unskilled women are college us news significantly
    higher than those between the same groups. My mum Jeaniewas one in a
    million she was born in 1919 the eldest of ten
    children, and it expresses my own opinions. My college
    us newses particularly love working out word based droodles - doodled-riddles.
    Below is a look at this under-the-radar company. 5 million
    after being shown surveillance footage of the incident.

    My weblog dahphd.ie

    ReplyDelete
  4. After you are fine with these songs on the Guitar Cases And Bags is luckily enough to even work it is very noisy.
    We did two takes of that song live in the studio I which had converted from our garage.
    Dildo On April 25, 2012, a U.

    Feel free to visit my web-site ... resources

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

News Wrap

The wrong message:- “Police identified the arrested as Venkatesa Prasad (25), a native of Perambalur, who is pursuing a master's course in business administration.” ”Prasad was nabbed after the police spotted a media advertisement placed by Amir and Prasad to get clients when they shifted base from Mannady to Triplicane recently. They had released an advertisement that they are offering massage to customers, especially women.” Read full report. So often you find the media going gaga about the smart MBA types coming up with innovative business ideas. Can one get any more innovative than this? The young Venkatesa Prasad , bitten by the entrepreneurial bug, hit upon this brilliant idea. He decides to get paid for stuff that most of his fellow male students would be ready to pay for…massaging women. If you read the full report (no pictures alas), you’ll find that they actually started small and became popular by work of mouth sorry, make that word of mouth . As with any start-up th...

New law of life

I have arrived at my new law of life . This is the longest break between two subsequent posts that I have had since I started this blog. Last week I told myself…I better write a post this week since I have made an unwritten rule that I shall be making one post a week. But hang on, I write blogs because its fun , but then when I start trying to live up to rules it suddenly makes it seem like a job . Ok, I know it is remotely possible there may be a couple of more who read this blog beside me (certainly not more than that)… and I can flatter myself into thinking that they will be, well disappointed! Hey come of it…they’ll survive! So I have now not written for two whole weeks. I am writing now because…well because I want to. Not because I feel I should. In other words, if I do not write now, it will seem like my job is to not write posts to my blog. So the rule going forward is, if you already have a job, stop doing everything else that feels like a job . (I am assuming you need that on...

News Wrap

Here’s a quick wrap-up of some of the more interesting happenings in the recent past. The Chinese New Year is the Year of the Rat and Malaysian women developed a taste in a particular type of linen. "Malaysian Chinese women are snapping up red panties with mouse motifs for good luck as they prepare to usher in the Year of the Rat, a news report said on Sunday." Read full report . First things first, what’s with the Chinese new years……last year they had the year of the Pig, this year the year of the Rat!!! Are there no better animals? I mean a pig in any language would serve as a fairly all embracing abusive word, and rat….that certainly cannot be flattery whether you are a Chinese or an English man. Should we not expect a year of the Tiger or at least Dragon!! Ofcourse with my usual objectvity and broad-mindedness, I find nothing worng in Ganesha’s vahana (consort) ….now is that a rat or a mouse? And let’s move on to these Malaysian women. A mouse motif on your inner-ware?...