Go Serena go!!!

At the outset, if you are a tennis fan and you are reading this post hoping to know more about Serena William’s Bangalore trip, my apologies. This post is not about the tennis star but about Serena, the now famous Japanese model.

“The bikini model, who goes by her professional name Serena Kozakura, was cleared after a court decided she was too well-endowed to squeeze into a room through a hole.”
“In her appeal, the defense counsel held up a plate showing the size of the hole and said that she could not squeeze through with her 110cm bust.” Read full report.

How unimaginative of the defense counsel. He should have held up a plate showing young Miss Kozukura’s twin assets alongside a plate of the hole.

Also let me try to visualize the court scene.

Defense Counsel: My Lord, Counsel shall prove to the court that the defendant is wrongly accused. Counsel requests permission to present exhibit 1.

Judge (drooling): Ahem….is exhibit one really the dual wonders on display?

Press photographers get ready with their cameras, audience start pointing their camera-phones at the defendant in hushed anticipation, hoping to capture a pair of…..oops, sorry, hoping to capture a watershed moment in the history of Japanese judicial proceedings.

Defense Counsel holds up the plate of the hole to the judge makes his point regarding her bust being 110 cm.

While the judge is thoroughly disappointed, the audience, in its ignorance shouts…'we want to see too'. The picture is turned around to the audience. A collective sigh of disappointment echoes through the court house.

However, as the Counsel's 110cm point sinks home, all faces in the courtroom turn slowly, as if in some slow motion, from the plate to the defendant . All try to visually measure if the twin towers are really 110cm or not.

Now I do not think the prosecution’s lawyer will go very far in life. He missed a golden opportunity. Dont you see, 110 is at capacity, the plea here is she "squeezed" herself in.

In the world of Bollywood B Grade films, this is what would have happened.

Prosecution Lawyer: “My Lord, Defense Counsel’s claim is correct about the bust being 110cm. However, the Prosecution would remind the court that the Defendant “squeezed” into the hole.

I request permission from Lordship to explore that angle and examine the items in question before the court.

In the interest of objectivity and statistical analysis,we need multiple readings in the contracted state. Prosecution would request your Lordship and interested members of the Jury to join in taking these readings to measure the "squeeze quotient" of the twin objects in question.”

Now what Judge or Jury will let go of an opportunity like that. Soon we would have Judge happy, jury happy, Ms Serena cannot be un-happy with all the attention and you know, just to return the favor, the Judge and jury would have acquitted her as well.

I would have called that a win-win solution