News Wrap

Here’s a quick wrap-up of some of the more interesting happenings in the recent past.

The Chinese New Year is the Year of the Rat and Malaysian women developed a taste in a particular type of linen.

"Malaysian Chinese women are snapping up red panties with mouse motifs for good luck as they prepare to usher in the Year of the Rat, a news report said on Sunday." Read full report.

First things first, what’s with the Chinese new years……last year they had the year of the Pig, this year the year of the Rat!!! Are there no better animals? I mean a pig in any language would serve as a fairly all embracing abusive word, and rat….that certainly cannot be flattery whether you are a Chinese or an English man. Should we not expect a year of the Tiger or at least Dragon!! Ofcourse with my usual objectvity and broad-mindedness, I find nothing worng in Ganesha’s vahana (consort) ….now is that a rat or a mouse?

And let’s move on to these Malaysian women. A mouse motif on your inner-ware? Now is that a Logitech or a Dell mouse. How will the late night conversation be? “hmmm my my, I see your mouse is bigger than mine….” In fact the report goes on to add "Red panties are supposed to bring good luck to the wearer during Chinese New Year. The panties are also popular with foreigners, especially Japanese tourists who find the mouse designs cute," Tham said".

My dear Tham, just how desperate does she have to be to wear a red innerwear! Maybe it is popular with foreigners “especially Japanese tourists” because the moment they see it on a Malay woman (and ofcourse she is showing it to them)....they know she is desperate and wants to change her run of luck. Let any woman strut around in red innerwear (mouse or no mouse) and I am sure she will be very popular among tourists, Japanese or otherwise.

Moving on.

“It might harm their reputation, but Israel's air force is considering giving its combat pilots Viagra to improve their performance - in the air.” Read full report.

Now this is what innovation is all about, Viagra was supposed to aid performance in the bed, now it is going on to do the same in the air. Combat pilots being given viagra today, and commerical flights tomorrow I am sure. How cool is that. So budget airlines will serve just viagra (and yes, the price will not be included in the ticket), while hostesses in “Full Service” airlines will provide … just that? Well I do not know and I guess there’s only one way to find out.

However, you know how you find something in the news and get all hopeful and positive and then you learn about something else and all your hopes come crashing down. Well, the following news article preceded the one on Viagra, but nonetheless, it does disappoint….

"The A380 may have the world’s first airborne double bed, but it won’t be put to the obvious use if Singapore Airlines has its way: “If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist,” said the company’s Stephen Forshaw." Read full report.

Well Stephen, I hope you have thought this thing through. While one is welcome on board, one is not allowed to come on board. Ironic indeed. I guess the only people happy with this law are the present members of the Mile High Club knowing their exclusivity is not under threat. In all fairness that club is about the spirit of adventure, not about filthy rich people who can dish out USD 14K for a luxury flight.

But let’s go back to the news article. "The airlines authority will ask couples to desist, if they find people indulging in “inappropriate activities”."

This brings to mind several questions….will they be watching constantly, does that not make them perverts?. At what stage will they consider it inappropriate…..are these not highly subjective calls?

More importantly it appears pretty unfair that they let you get started (because initially it would not look inappropriate) and then suddenly stop the play just when the game is reaching its climax.

And the what if scenario? What if some one does not or actually fails to desist, then what happens? Do the host/hostesses come and spank the couple…naughty, naughty, naughty. Are the people caned? (it is legal in Singapore) or are they blacklisted (difficult to imagine a business cutting off potential repeat customers). Oh questions, profound questions!!!.

Here’s the last one.

"Nearly half of British men surveyed would give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV, a survey -- perhaps unsurprisingly carried out for a firm selling televisions - said on Friday." See full report.

Too bad the survey did not ask the all important follow up question. If it had, the firm would have found out what these people would be doing with their giant TVs. Watch porn, and after six months, well what is it they say in Britain....God save the Queen!!!