Hallelujah and Pamela

Well, Australia is in the news once again. No, I am not talking cricket. Australia has my vote for having the Best Church in the World.

“Riverside Church pastor Andrew Newbold and his wife Megan have launched a four-week series on sex, marriage, adultery and pornography. They have in fact gone ahead with advertising about this seminar on a flyer that reads: "the best sex you'll ever have." Read full report.

Now I have, in the past been in disagreement with the action of a certain church in England. Read blog here.

However this time I have no reservations in doffing my hat to M/s Newbolds from the Riverside Church. They have hit a pot of gold.

Sex up religion, yes dudes go for it. The last guy who did that real well was our own Osho and we know the limitless success he achieved in his lifetime. Other assorted Gurus sprouted in the Hippi era of 60’s and early 70’s in the US propagating sex as the way to salvation (especially when laced with LSD).

And who better to know this than a fringe, little known blogger who spares no effort to have sex as the underlying theme of all his posts.

What sets apart the Newbolds effort is that they are doing it within the existing confines and jurisdiction of the Church. So even as they break holy bread and drink holy water the Pastor shall be talking about such important things like sex, pornography, adultery etc.

Now it would be interesting to know on how far the Pastor is going to push.... the envelope. How much will he leave to the imagination? Keeping in mind the young impressionanble minds in his audience, will he actually start with a clay model or mannequin and then work up to live shows...sorry demos. Like in the session on sex, will it be the Newbolds defrocking themselves for a sermon. Now is that defrocking or disrobing? I just hope the congregation says Hallelujah at the right time and not too early or too late.

Is the session on pornography going to be a show and tell? I would not want to miss it for the world.

And what about adultery? Being a pretty small community, are there going to be live case studies? Will Jo, Martha’s husband, finally discover that the reason Martha kept dropping off at neighbour Andrew’s house was not because of his big TV but big….? Was Peggie talking about the hunky neighbour Jeff’s lawn mower when she told her its not how big it is, but how you use it that matters?

But what really worries me are the children. While the Padres and Pastors are not exactly Michael Jackson when it comes to young boys, the recent track record of a few, would place them a not too distant second. So, lest it be another Neverland (MJ’s ranch where he used to enjoy with his “young” friends) experience, it is strongly recommended that children attend mass only under parental supervision. For the first time probably, we’ll have PG rated sermons.

Moving on to a different continent, culture and …..topic?

The Sharjah municipality has issued a dress code for mannequins.

“The municipality in a circular sent to all shops stated the heads of mannequins be removed and that they are forbidden to wear underwear, to uphold the traditional and religious values of the emirate, said the Gulf News in a report today. "We reinforced the ban because it was a religious issue that raised many complaints from residents, who were against shops displaying men and women's undergarments on realistic mannequins," said Khalid Al Jaberi, head of market control at Sharjah Municipality. “ Read full report.

Are you kidding me! If there is a mannequin with the stats of a Pamela Anderson Lee, let me assure you, the eyes will never travel above the shoulder. So go ahead Comrade Khalid, give me a mannequin without underwear and with the stats of a Pam or Beyonce, and keep the head dude, it would have been useful only if she was for real.